Betelgeusian's Out of the Bag, Baby
by RapturousSolution
Summary: Meow finds himself having a crush on Dandy. Perhaps a new adventure will do well to take his mind off of things. (AN: UPDATES COMING I SWEAR ON MY LIFE. ALSO, SO MANY NEW VIEWERS, THANK YOU ALL! I'M COMING OUT OF A BAD FUNK AND GETTING BACK TO WRITING SOME. Enough with Caps Lock for now, but seriously thank you! I hope you enjoy my Dandy x Meow fluff gay story!)
1. Betelgeusians Out of the Bag

Meow stirred from slowly from a deep sleep, yawning and stretching as he returned to the world of the conscious. He had fallen asleep on one of the comfortable sofas that sat in the common room while updating his blog, completely unaware he had been so tired. He turned his head and looked out of the window into the dark, endless reaches of space. As he stared into the fascinating void, the metallic clanking of Dandy approaching could be heard.

"Hey, Meow." Dandy said as he kicked up his feet and put his arms behind his head.

"Hey, Dandy." Meow said, feeling his heart begin to race. "What are you up to?" he asked, thrilled at the thought of having a conversation with Dandy.

"Pff, not shit." Dandy casually commented, closing his eyes. "TV went out. We must have flown through an electric pulse."

Meow rubbed his arm nervously. "Possibly." Meow said. "I was asleep for a few hours, so I don't really have any clue of our bearings."

Dandy laughed. "I've been awake the last few hours and still have no clue where we are." Dandy opened his eyes again and activated the communication device on his wrist. He called for QT, watching as a hologram of the small robot hovered in the air above the device.

"QT, you there? Come in, QT." Dandy called into the device. He waited for several seconds before the device buzzed with the robots response. "I'm here Dandy, what do you need?"

"We have a small electrical malfunction in the Captain Quarters, do you know if we passed through any sort of electrical disturbance?" Dandy asked, watching the blue flickering hologram intently.

QT sighed. "No, Dandy, we didn't. If you recall, using too many electronics at one time in any of the rooms causes a the circuit breaker to trip. We could easily fix that if we had any Woolongs to our name at all."

Dandy slammed his hand on knee as he jerked up angrily. "So you're telling me that using my computer while charging my phone with the TV and stereo on with the AC fully cranked is a bad thing? WE NEED TO FIX THIS THING A.S.A.P!" Dandy turned to Meow and pointed at him. "YOU! GET ON YOUR BLOG THING AND FIND NEW ALIENS!"

Meow looked at Dandy questioningly. "I don't think you really know what a blog is, Dandy. A blog is a place an individual can truly express ones deepest thoughts and emotions. A place where they can safely be themselves and…" Meow's phone dinged as he received a message. He pulled out his phone and read the text. "Oh, well, what do you know, I guess that is how it works. An unclassified species just commented that 'I post the best statuses! LOL :)'."

Dandy jammed himself behind Meow to get a look at the screen of his phone, seeing that indeed, a strange species seemed to have messaged him. "How do we find where it lives?" Dandy asked, laying his jaw on Meow's shoulder, causing the Betelgeusian to tense up slightly.

"It says he's from the Parabaugian Galaxy." Meow said, checking the creatures profile. The blog page was empty, and the photo gallery contained only a single picture. It was a picture of a large mushroom sitting inside of the laboratory surrounded by curious looking scientists.

"How do you know he's an undiscovered species?" Dandy asked, turning his head to Meow.

"HIs description says, 'Undiscovered Alien Species, that's what I be, boi. Keep it hush-hush ;)'." Meow said, quoting the creatures exact words.

With that, Dandy leaped up and slammed his boot on top of the coffee table sitting in front of the couch. "To the Parabaugian Galaxy!" Dandy shouted, jamming his index finger forward. He kept the position for several awkward moments before looking around. "Oh, yeah, I actually have to get us there, I guess." Dandy realized. He stepped down from the coffee table and walked toward the cockpit. He waved back at Meow as he left. "Nice talking, Meow, see you when we get there!"

Meow smiled sheepishly and waved back, despite the fact Dandy already had his back turned to the blushing Betelgeusian. "Y...you too." Meow stuttered. He bit his tongue as soon as the words had left his mouth. You too? Was that the best he had? The door to the cockpit closed as Dandy stepped inside and Meow sighed. God, this was getting hard. His wrist communicator buzzed to life, QT's hologram appearing from the projector.

"Wow, you are super awkward aren't you?" QT mocked, chuckling at Meow's awful social skills.

Meow looked at the hologram angrily. "It wouldn't be like this if I didn't like him, you stupid droid!" Meow hissed. "It's your fault anyway for making me gay!"

The hologram waved his hands defensively. "Whoa, buddy, putting something in your butt doesn't make you fall in love with the same gender. If anything, you had feelings for Dandy before, but you were in denial about it until you found putting things in your butt doesn't kill you with painful rectal cancer or whatever lies you were fed about it." QT said, a serious tone tinging his voice with concern.

Meow sighed and rubbed the sides of his head. "What am I going to do, QT? I don't want to endanger what we already have, but something in me is just… screaming for his love."

"Hmmm," QT said as he thought, "Well, I definitely would wait. For awhile, a long while, before I told Dandy anything. Until he feels close enough to you he won't be chased away by your strong feelings."

Meow laid back and groaned. "This is hopeless. Dandy's never going to go for me. He's literally the straightest guy I've ever met. Always 'Boobies' this, or 'Butt' that. I don't really have either of those, as one, I'm a guy, and two, Betelgeusians don't really have a body that doesn't really warrant a 'nice booty' that Dandy looks for."

"It is pretty hopeless." QT responded, being realistic. "But, hey, if you never take a chance, you'll never even have the possibility of success."

Meow looked at the service droids hologram and smiled. He always felt better being able to talk about his feelings to someone, even if it was a robot that wasn't able to understand emotions. "Thanks for the talk, QT." Meow thanked. "I really appreciate it."

"No problem, Meow." QT chimed happily. "Now could you do me a favor and get down to maintenance deck and help me with the water pipes for a minute? I need you to turn off the valves while I get them fixed, and turned on right after i've got it fixed. If we go without water cooling the engine for even five minutes, we're going to have a bad time."

Meow hopped off of the couch, actually to have something to redirect his train of thought. "Be right down." He answered before ending the call. Before walking out of the common room, he glanced at the cockpit doors one more time, his heart aching with the want for love. He shook his head clear and headed off towards the maintenance deck.


	2. Making Some Changes, Baby

Meow rubbed his blistered paws as he grumbled under his breath about the hardships of a working life. He had worked with QT on much more than just fixing the water valves in the time they had been traveling towards the Parabaugian Galaxy. They had cleaned, repaired, and worked on nearly everything they could with the supplies they had on hand. Meow was completely drained of energy, but his small robot companion seemed completely unaffected.

"So you're telling me robots don't ever get tired?" Meow asked, questioning QT about his reserves of working energy.

"We do, but unlike organic beings, we get tired when our battery begins to run out, which is why we need to go into sleep mode. To recharge. With organics, they get tired depending on the amount of work they do. An organic without pressures is proven to stay awake longer, where robots all differentiate depending on the size of their battery. With robots, it's all about time, and with organics, it's all about the amount of stress they're put under." The robot explained, continuing down the brightly lit hallway with the intently listening Betelgeusian by his side.

"How do you know so much about about the 'organics' sleeping habits?" Meow asked, curious on his friends seemingly deep knowledge.

"Dandy always stays up late all the time, but when he has to actually do something, like get out of trouble or get out of even bigger trouble, he's always asleep instantly. He usually sleeps a long time afterwards, too. For hours longer, in fact." QT continued, nonchalantly admitting to watching Dandy sleep.

Meow groaned at the mention of Dandy. He had been able to keep him off of his mind for the last few hours, and had nearly gotten the dashing space pilot out of his mind. "Speaking of Dandy…" Meow began, "Do you think you could help me with something now?"

"Sure thing." QT chirped happily, "What do you need?"

"Well, I'm going to need some help…" Meow began, tapping his paws together nervously. "I'm going to need some help… bathing." The last word came out with such loathing and hatred, it may as well have been a curse word.

"What?" QT gasped, unable to believe his audio recievers. "You haven't bathed once since you got on the Aloha Oe, what in the world could make you even consider it now?"

Meow raised an eyebrow at the robot, casting him a disappointed glance. "The whole 'crush on Dandy' thing might have something to do with wanting to smell good for once." he stated.

"Wow." QT gasped. "This whole thing really does have you acting wierd. Next thing I know you'll actually change your clothes or clean your room!"

Meow grimaced in disgust. "Clean? My room? Um, yah, no way man. Also not too big on the wearing different clothes thing. My sarong is a classic! What else would I even think of wearing?"

QT sighed in relief. "Thank God. For a minute, I thought I had really lost you." QT sniffed, on the verge of fake tears. "Don't scare me like that again. Ever." he said, hugging Meow's legs tightly.

Meow stared at the small droid for sometime until finally asking. "So you'll help me?"

QT laughed and nuzzled against Meow's knee. "Sure thing, what are friends for?"

Meow thrashed and hissed, splashing the water about the bathroom like a raging ocean. QT continued pressing the Betelgeusian to the floor of the shower, feeling the angry alien occasionally rake his arms with his sharp claws.

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD ROBOT I SWEAR TO GOD AS SOON AS I GET OUT OF HERE YOU'RE IN FOR IT BIG TIME!" Meow continued cursing, feeling the horrible water wash over his tan fur. His threats eventually worked their way into begging.

"PLEASE QT LET ME OUT, THIS IS AWFUL JESUS I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING!"

QT ignored the vehemont vulgarity as Meow had told him to and reached for the shampoo. "Just a few more rinses, big guy, I think we nearly have all the fish flakes out of your fur." Meow was only able to respond with a defeated sob.

There was a knock on the bathroom door, causing QT to look up from his Mechanic Monthly Magazine. "QT?" Meow's level voice called from inside the locked bathroom. "I dried off and I'm fine now. You can let me out."

QT made no effort to move to the door and instead turned the page of his magazine. "Man, showering was super fun, don't you thinK?" QT said, testing to see how 'fine' Meow really was.

"I'LL RIP YOUR DUMB LITTLE FACE OFF OF YOUR BODY, YOU STUPID SWEEPER! NOBODY WILL CARE BECAUSE YOUR A ROBOT, WE CAN REPLACE YOU!" Meow's furious voice yelled from behind the door, proving that he wasn't 'fine' at all. There was a short silence after Meow had exploded that last time, and he knocked on the door again.

"Who could that be?" QT asked, turning the page once more.

"Now I'm fine. Really, I just needed that one last threat." Meow said calmly. "I'm not going to rip your head off or mutilate you, promise."

QT sighed and went to the door, unlocking it and opening the door slowly. Meow stood in the doorway and spread his arms to show off his clean coat. It was much lighter now, the tan shown much more brightly than it had before, now clean and free from dirt and grease. He smelled infinitely times better than he had before, in fact, he smelt great now!

"You okay there, buddy?" QT asked, looking up at his friend as he concentrated his breathing to keep him calm.

"Yah, I'm fine now." Meow said, clasping his paws together and putting them to his mouth. "It wasn't all that bad, to be honest." he said, opening his eyes and smiling. "What do you thinK?" Meow asked, spreading his arms once again.

"Much better." QT said. "I can actually stand to be around you." They bothed laughed at this comment, despite the fact QT had been completely serious.

QT and Meow stepped into the cockpit and approached the pilots chair. Dandy turned to look at the two of them as the entered, a look of shock coming across his face.

"Is it just me, or did Meow finally take a bath?" Dandy proclaimed excitedly.

"It's not you, that's for sure." QT said, showing the claw marks running down his arms. "We cleaned his clothes and everything."

Dandy hopped up from his chair and pumped his fist up and down. "One less thing to smell like death on this ship!" he cheered, celebrating this accomplishment. "Now we only need to clean your room!"

QT shook his head. "No way that's ever getting accomplished, but I suppose it's good to have dreams."

Dandy shrugged. "We'll take what we can get then, I suppose." He then turned back to Meow. "Did the aliens blog give his exact coordinates? We're getting close to the Parabaugian Galaxy, but I don't really know where we're going form there."

"Unfortunatley not." Meow replied, pulling out his phone to check the aliens blog. "Only hint about his location is his galaxy."

"I believe I have a remedy for this." QT chimed in, taking Meow's phone from his hand. QT then unraveled a cord from his back and plugged it into the phone. QT's face lit up with a bright light as his technical insides worked through the data on the phone. He used his programming to pick apart the web page, looking for the location of the blogs owner. "There we go." he said after several moments. "I have a definate location. Just an hour or so ahead, that's where the original signals came from."

"Nice!" Dandy cheered once more. "Registration money, here we come!" He hopped back into the pilots seat and reactivated the thrusters. Without knowing it, the crew of the Aloha Oe was now flying towards what would prove to be a very risky venture.

The Aloha Oe hovered in the air of the strange planet, searching for a viable place to land. The planet was indeed a strange one. It seemed to be one gigantic city, with nothing but towering buildings for as far as the eye could see. This was nothing new, as their were dozens of planets that consisted of only cities, but this one was different because it seemed completely devoid of any life. A thick fog hung in the air, and the buildings were covered in plant life. It was fascinating to see nature reclaim such large buildings, carpets of moss covering the roofs of the skyscapers, large trees poked from the countless windows, and bright flowers clung to the sides of the building. The crew finally found a sizable landing pad they could use to land and carefully lighted down upon the cracked concrete. Tall grass poked from the gigantic cracks, standing nearly as tall as the landing gears. Inside the Aloha Oe, the crew made their way towards the service hatch to head into the outside world. QT stopped them before they could open the door, however.

"You guys are going to have to put on some suits for this place." QT said, holding his arms out to stop the two organics.

"What? Why!? The place obviously has air, I mean, there was a city here!" Dandy argued, frustrated at the prospect of having to pull on his suit.

"There's air alright, it's just filled with tiny potentially lethal spores." QT said, taking Dandy's suit from his locker. "Unless you want to risk your own life just so you don't have to wear a suit, I'd suggest you just put it on."

Dandy groaned in frustration. He reluctantly slid off his trademark jacket and worked his feet into the suit. He looked over at Meow questioningly and then looked back to QT. "What about Meow?" Dandy asked. "He's coming with us, after all."

QT shrugged. "I could get a spare suit from the storage. Meow's never really had to wear a suit before, so we don't have one ready for him."

"Then let's get him one!" Dandy said, pulling the suit up. "I'll wait till we get one fitted for him. I'm sure he'd feel so left out just stuck here." He grinned widely, flashing his perfect white teeth. Meow's heart skipped a beat and he found himself having to turn casually to hide a blush.

"Oh, yeah, just so left out." Meow responded, struggling greatly to keep his voice even and calm. Feeling the heat of his blush receed from his cheeks, Meow turned back to Dandy who was in the process of trying to work the leg over his boot. He thrust his leg down in frustration and missed his footing, causing him to slip backwards. Meow dove forward and caught Dandy by his armpits before he slammed his head off of the solid metal floor. Meow helped him back up carefully, shaking slightly the whole time. He could smell Dandy's tropical shampoo, hear his relieved breathing, feel his warm body against his. Meow clenched his teeth, barely able to hide his pleasure. Dandy looked down at the straining Betelgeusian that had saved him from a nasty headache. "You okay there, Meow? You look like you saw a ghost, man." Dandy asked, concern tinging his voice.

"Yah, well, you know, I mean you almost busted your head there, it was, you know, really intense and stuff." Meow explained breathing heavily.

Dandy smiled at his stuttering friend. "Hey man, it's alright." Dandy laughed. "It's not like I was going to die or anything."

Meow looked up into Dandy's eyes, attempting to regain some self-control. It was a loosing fight. The handsome twinkle in his eyes, the perfect complexure, the angular jawline, it was just to much for Meow. He opened his mouth to say something, but instead all that came out was a low groan.

Dandy laughed in response and patted Meow's back. "I'm appretiative of the save there though, it's greatly appretiated." Dandy looked up at QT. "How's that suit fitting coming along?" Dandy asked.

"Nearly done!" announced QT, holding up a Betelgeusian sized space suit. It was the same white and blue as Dandy's and shown with the brilliant sheen of a new outfit.

"Nice!" Dandy proclaimed, snatching it from QT's hands before tossing it to Meow. "Get that on quick! Every second we spend pent up in here that alien could be getting further and further away!"

QT raised an eyebrow at Meow as he worked into the suit. "It might be too big or too small, I just used the measurements of an average Betelgeusian. In hindsight, I probably could have just measured Meow..." the small robot suggested.

"He's fine aren't you, Meow?" Dandy asked, sliding his glass helmet on and connecting it to the oxygen tank on his back.

"It's perfect!" Meow struggled to say. In truth, the suit was incredibly tight, and Meow cursed his unhealty lifestyle silently. That would have to be another thing he worked on. He put on the glass helmet as well, eventually getting it connected to his oxygen tank after much difficulty due to his lack of flexibility. "Ready to go." Meow reported, finally completely suited. Dandy nodded and hit the unlock button on the side of the door, causing it to slide open slowly. Dandy stepped out into the toxic atmosphere, leaving QT and Meow in the ship by themselves for a moment. QT grabbed Meow's arm before he could also make his way off of the ship.

"Don't be stupid, Meow, that suit hardly fits you!" QT whispered vehemontly.

"It'll be fine!" Meow reassured, embarresed at being called out by the robot. "It's not like we'll be doing anything to risky anyways. Just a routine search, right?" Meow then placed his hand on QT's and smiled at him. "Trust me."

QT sighed. He let go of Meow and retracted his arms into his body. "Be careful, Meow." QT said, his voice full of worry. "You watch your back and keep Dandy out of trouble. I'll be monitoring from the ship, so I'll be with you every step of the way."

Meow looked at QT questioningly. "Why aren't you coming with us?" Meow asked the fretting droid.

"No, I wouldn't be much help anyways." QT admitted. "Anything I can do out there, I can accomplish from in here."

Meow cast one last look at his friend before stepping out into the outside world. "Keep the ship warm." Meow joked. "We'll be back as soon as possible."


	3. It's a Dead Planet, Baby

Meow gasped as he stepped into the outside world. An uncountable mass of green spores floated through the air, reaching as far as the eye could see. The heavy fog caught and reflected the light beautifully glistening in the noon sun. The decrepit buildings stood like glorious monoliths, a testament to mankind's architectural genius. Beautiful greenery accentuated the dull, grey concrete skyscrapers, defying the achievements of man, proving that despite their constant effort, man would never best the limitless glory of nature. It would always return to reclaim what had been taken from it. The metallic clicking of Dandy's boots approached Meow as he stared at the horizon in amazement.

"Fascinating, ain't it?" Dandy asked, putting his arm around Meow's shoulder. "Maybe if you actually got out of the ship more, you'd be able to see more of this." Dandy laughed at his own joke for a moment before becoming stone-face serious again. "Yeah, but seriously, this junk is probably super deadly, so keep yourself safe, bud."

Meow nodded. "Can do, Dandy. Make sure you follow your own advice, though." Meow said, much more concerned for Dandy's safety nowadays than he had been. "You're not known to play on the safe side, but who knows what these spores could do to you if your helmet got busted." Meow looked at a small green particle that stuck to the arm of his suit as he spoke. He shivered nervously and brushed it off.

"I'm always careful, baby!" Dandy replied snarkily as he walked towards the ledge. He turned to face Meow, a dazzling smile crossing his face. "I'm Space Dandy!" He struck a heroic pose, split seconds before the ground beneath him crumbled away. Meow cried out in shock and dove forward, grabbing onto Dandy's hand milliseconds before Dandy had plunged past the point of no saving. The weight nearly pulled Meow over the edge with Dandy, but Meow was able to plant his feet on the rough concrete, stopping the imminent fall. Meow leaned his head over the ledge to look down at Dandy and instantly regretted that decision. They were hundreds of stories in the air, so high in fact, that the ground was hidden by a covering of fog. Meow's head span and his grip on Dandy's hand weakened. "Don't you drop me!" Dandy yelled in panic, thrashing his arms and legs in a frightened craze.

"Then hold still for a minute!" Meow grunted, grabbing onto Dandy with both hands and working to pull him back up onto solid ground. Dandy grabbed the ledge with one hand upon getting close enough to grab it, and with Meow's help, pulled himself back onto the roof. Both collapsed into a quivering, terrified pile, with Dandy laying heavily on top of Meow. Gathering what energy he had left, Dandy sat up and looked down at Meow.

"I think I'll start being a little more careful." Dandy said, his voice shaking with super charged adrenaline. Meow looked up at his crush and nodded in response.

"Maybe just a little more." Meow said between heavy breaths, fully aware that after the shock of this wore off, Dandy would be back to his over-confident ways as always.

Dandy stood, his legs shaking violently. "Alright, after that, I vote for a short break."

Meow stood with him, relief surging through his veins. While near death experiences happened all the time while they were out and about alien hunting, this had been the first time since Meow had discovered his deep feelings for Dandy. What would he even do without the dashing human? Dandy was the ringleader of the Aloha Oe's operations, without him, not only would Meow be crushed emotionally, but financially he had no way to make money without hunting, and honestly, Dandy was the only one who knew anything about catching anything. Meow and QT would be completely helpless, forced to find new lines of work. Everything would fall apart without Dandy. He looked up and watched as Dandy walked back towards the Aloha Oe, watching his athletic body shift under his suit. Meow shut his eyes and clenched his teeth. He shook his head clear of his explicit thoughts and followed Dandy into the ship.

QT looked towards the door in shock as it opened again and Dandy and Meow walked back in. Surely, he lost track of time occasionally, but QT doubted it had been a few hours already. He had only read a page or two of Space Tech Today. "Back so soon?" QT asked, watching the Dandy as he took off his helmet.

"Near death scare already." Dandy said, deciding to keep his space suit on for the time being.

"So? That hardly deters you two. You're either too stubborn or dumb to call off anything after a close call." QT observed, still confused by Dandy's seemingly cowardly retreat.

Dandy grabbed QT and lifted him off the ground, pressing his face against QT's screen. "Listen here, you bucket of bolts, we didn't call of anything! A small break seemed to be in order and we took it! After we catch our breath, we're heading right back out to get whatever it is that's out there!" Dandy explained to the small robot.

"If you say so." QT replied, accepting Dandy's excuse without further questioning.

"That's what I thought." Dandy smiled, placing QT back on the ground before looking back at Meow. "We got any of those Mango Juice things left?"

Meow nodded. "Yeah, that's like all we have in the refrigerator right now." Meow said, recalling purchasing about twenty cases during a Scurvy Prevention Sale.

"Awesome, let's get some of those babies open. Almost dying makes a man thirsty." Dandy said, stepping over to the couch and flopping onto the comfortable furniture.

Meow smiled, happy to be able to do anything for Dandy. "Can do, man. I'm on it."

Meow kicked a small chunk of concrete across the tiled floor. It had been a few hours since Dandy's close call and the two of them had set off once more into the poisonous air. They had given any sort of ledges a wide berth this time and had successfully avoided any more terrifyingly close calls. They had made their way into some sort of lobby, following an advanced life detector, which now seemed to be indicating that a breathing being was less than a mile away.

"Almost there, baby!" Dandy cheered excitedly, eyes fixated on the life detectors holographic blue screen.

Meow kicked the chunk of concrete again, listening to it clack as it bounced across the tile. "Where do we go from here though?" Meow asked, looking around the room. The only possible ways were a flight of stairs they had came from or a large hole in the wall that looked out over the spore filled air.

Dandy approached the large hole, not allowing himself to the edge however, and surveyed the scene. "Ah-ha!" Dandy said, grinning. "See that building parallel with ours? It's also got a huge hole in the wall! And beneath us, I can only guess is..!" he said as he approached the edge cautiously. "Bingo! A collapsed bridge!"

Meow's many ears perked up. He too approached the edge of the hole carefully, peeking his head into the open air to catch a glimpse of what was indeed a fallen bridge. The bridge itself had gotten caught by small outcrops on each building, suspending it miles in the air. Meow looked over at Dandy, concern lighting his yellow eyes. "Dandy, what are you planning here?" Meow asked the stupidly brave space captain.

A glimmer of intelligence glowed in Dandy's eyes as he surveyed the fallen bridge. Meow watched Dandy as he calculated distances, probabilities, and risks. Anyone that truly knew Dandy would tell you in a heartbeat that despite his idiotic demeanor, Dandy had quite a head on his shoulders. What? You thought some bonehead could pilot a space cruiser? Meow himself was also very intelligent, but worked less with numbers and more with the workings of things. Despite his unwillingness to do it, he had the know how to fix just about anything that went wrong mechanically on the Aloha Oe. But enough with the exposition, let's get back to the situation at hand. After a minute or so of deep thought, Dandy began to unravel a high-tension cable from his utility belt.

"You can't possibly be thinking you're going to lower yourself to the bridge to walk across that thing." Meow accused, doubting Dandy's sanity.

"Come on, bud, how else are we ever going to get across? We'll take it slow and steady, it'll be completely safe, I promise." Dandy said, raising his right hand in an "I swear" gesture.

Meow sighed and reluctantly agreed to let Dandy follow through with his plan. Dandy wrapped the cable around a support beam and tested the cable by giving it a few rough tugs. Deciding it was holding well enough, Dandy began to rappel down the side of the building, taking the going slow and steady. Meow watched him nervously as he descended further and further, before finally touching down on the creaking rubble. He looked back up at Meow and waved for him to follow. Meow bit his bottom lip and looked at the rope. He had never been a fan of heights, and Dandy's recent near death experience did not help Meow's disposition at all. He clipped the cable onto his belt. He carefully worked his way over to the edge, forcing his eyes upwards so he was unable to look down. He pushed himself into the open air, feeling nausea threaten to overtake him as he swung out into the open air. Panic surged through his veins and when he came in contact with the exterior of the building, he gripped onto the solid wall, promising silently to never let go.

"Yo, cat! You want to hurry this up at all? I want to get this over with, this dumb suit is starting to get tight." Dandy shouted up at the clinging Betelgeusian. Meow looked down at his handsome crush and took a deep breath. He could do this. He would do it for Dandy. He continued to rappel downwards, squeezing his eyes tight and shuddering every time he threw himself into the air. After an eternity of being suspended in the green specked air, Meow felt a pair of hands rest themselves on his hips. He cried out in shock, his eyes shooting open as he let go of the cable and fell into Dandy's arms.

"Whoa there, buddy, I was just trying to guide you down the rest of the way!" Dandy laughed. "No need for you to go and fall into me like that!"

Meow felt himself blushing and turned his head. "S..sorry about that…" Meow stuttered, feeling Dandy's arms around his body. A strange mix of emotions swirled around in Meow's confused head. While he admitted he never wanted to leave Dandy's arms, he also had to admit he wanted get out of them as soon as he could. He had been raised in a household where gays were constantly bashed, mocked, and shamed. Hell, one of his friends had been bisexual, and his parents refused to allow Meow to hang out with him. He wasn't supposed to feel this way, so why the hell did he feel so attached to Dandy? He looked back up into Dandy's face, feeling his heart stop as his doubtful thoughts were frozen by Dandy's perfect white smile, beautifully chiseled face, and his deep yet playful eyes. Dandy laughed, his wonderful chuckle spreading through Meow's ears like the ichor of an angelic being. "What's with that face you're making?" Dandy asked, setting Meow down. "You look like you just had an epiphany or something."

Meow slapped a paw against his helmet, refocusing his attention on the job at hand. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Lets go get that alien, shall we?"

Dandy smiled at Meow again and shook his head, chuckling. "Whatever you say, bud." He removed a second cable from his belt, this one with a grappling hook on one end. Meow looked at the grappling hook and narrowed his eyes. "How many things do you have on that belt?" Meow asked, suspecting the belt to be one of those "Batman Belts". Dandy looked at Meow and shrugged. "I don't know. Probably literally everything. Like if we need it, it'll probably be on the belt." Meow sighed. While it was convenient for the crew, it was a little too convenient. Like it was something that sounded like it was from some dumb fanfiction. Dandy began to twirl the grappling hook, giving it a good velocity before tossing it upwards. The hook caught on the ledge, pulling the cable taught. Dandy gave it a good tug, and pulled the hook down, as it hadn't been caught well enough. Dandy jumped to the side as the hefty hook smashed onto the bridge where Dandy had been standing a moment before. The ground beneath their feet let out a horrifying creek, prophesying a possible death at the hands of the bridge collapsing.

Dandy looked at the ground, a curious look crossing his face. "Well, shit, I better get this thing up there this time!" Dandy commented, slight amounts of panic pulling at his voice. He began to twirl the hook again as Meow carefully stepped away from where the hook had hit the bridge. Dandy tossed the grappling hook skywards once more, hoping against hope it would stick this time. Once again, the hook caught on the ledge, coming to a quick halt. Dandy crossed his fingers as he gave the cable a powerful tug. The hook didn't budge. Dandy breathed a sigh of relief as he mounted the wall and began to climb. He turned to look at Meow while he climbed. "Get on the line." Dandy told Meow, who was now standing quite a ways from where the hook had landed. "I don't know how long this bridge is going to hold." Dandy said, split seconds before the bridge collapsed.

Meow fell screaming downwards, the ground hundreds of feet beneath him. Death was a sure thing, as there was absolutely no way anything could save him now. The bridge slammed into a notch on the buildings, catching for a split second. Meow slammed onto it, having the breath knocked out of him as he slid downwards, the bridge acting as a ramp leading down towards a shining row of windows. Meow smashed through the thin glass, the shards ripping through his suit and cutting into his skin. Through the glass windows Meow flew, rolling through a sloped office area and towards a steep staircase. Pain shot through his body constantly as he was thrown down the stairs, feeling his bones crack and snap as he rolled down them. Another bank of glass windows sat right after the stairs, as it seemed the stairs had led to some observation deck of sorts. Meow crashed through these windows as well, despite the fact these had been significantly thicker. He found himself flying through the open air, into some strange looking lab. Down he fell thirty or so feet before landing face first on the hard floor. As soon as his face came in contact with the solid surface, Meow instantly blacked out, feeling the sweet relief of unconsciousness deliver him from the immense pain blasting through every fiber of his body. 


	4. Dreams are Gateways to the Soul, Baby

Meow squirmed through the thick, inky blackness that was currently consuming everything in his mind. He crawled to his hands and knees after much effort, only to be rewarded with immense pain traveling across his beaten body. Where was he? He had only been this hurt once before, but when was it? Where was it? A voice echoed around him, the words shouted being an nonsensical jumble, like trying to listen to shouting from underwater. The dark began to split apart, bringing Meow thrusting forward into a strange dark yellow light. His surroundings materialized and soon he found himself in an old forgotten memory. He was sitting in a restaurant on his home planet called 'Hungry Sam's Rib Shack'. He looked his body up and down. He was just a baby Betelgeusian practically, seven years old to be precise. His kitten fluff still covered much of his body, occasionally coming off in difficult to clean balls of fuzz. His fur was shining white, the color it had been before age tinged it a light beige. The dark brown markings covering his body was a light grey, and Meow recalled how easily he had gotten dirty. It was always such a hassle when he was young. A yell of pain cut through the still air, breaking Meow's fond memories. He looked around the room, his eyes landing upon his mother and his younger sibling pressed to the window's watching something outside. Meow hopped down from his seat and journeyed to the window. His dreaming mind screamed for him to stop, he had been here before, he had locked this thought away for a reason, but his body didn't understand. His body hadn't been here before, it needed to see what was on the opposite side of the window. He peeked his head over the sill, and while his young body only gasped in mild shock, his dreaming mind screamed in anguish. His father was pressed on top of another male Betelgeusian, driving his fist into the downed man's face over and over and over again. The unknown Betelgeusian let out another scream of pain, bright purple blood spilling out of his mouth when he cried out. Another unknown male Betelgeusian was trying to pull Meow's dad off of the Betelgeusian his father was currently turning into a pulp. The one pulling Meow's father off gave a powerful tug, and in return, Meow's father spun around and planted a powerful fist into his gut. The Betelgeusian attempting to diffuse the situation fell to the ground, quickly covering the back of his head with his paws as Meow's father began to kick at his head. Meow jumped down from the sill and ran to the door. He had to stop his dad, he was going to kill theses men! HIs dreaming mind begged the young body to stop, warned him of the imminent pain that would change the way he saw things for the rest of his life. His young body continued on regardless, running to his father and grabbing his flailing leg.

"DAD, STOP!" Meow yelled, digging his claws into his fathers thigh. Before he knew what was happening, Meow found himself falling backwards, thrown off of his fathers leg by a powerful punch that landed right in between Meow's eyes. The back of his head slammed on the curb, sending a tidal wave of pain through his body. His little body reacted the way any child would, by curling into a ball and beginning to cry. His father jumped on top of him, slamming his knee into Meow's ribs before raining a barrage of angry punches against Meow's head. He grabbed two of Meow's ears and began slamming his head against the black pavement. Meow witnessed through tear filled eyes as the pavement slowly began to sparkle with bright purple blood. "I'M SORRY, DAD, PLEASE STOP!" Meow called through his blood filled mouth. He felt a tooth that hadn't even been loose dislodge itself from his gums and clatter to the ground. Loud cries of pain racked through his small body. Why was this happening? What had he done to deserve this? His dad leaned in close to Meow and whispered furiously into his ears. "Are you a faggot? Are you a disgusting little cocksucker? HUH?!" His dad jerked his head up and forced his vision towards the two males lying beaten and bloody. "You want to ruin a society generations of great men have built up with your DISGUSTING FAGGOT WAYS?" Meow's father screamed. Meow was terrified, but even as a child, watching the two beaten men reach out for each other and grasp each others paw in a loving hold despite their horrifying wounds, he knew that the one in the wrong was his father. Fuck generations of great men, fuck what they had worked so hard to build up, and fuck his dad, if two males were happy being together, they deserved every bit of happiness as a male did with a female. But Meow stayed silent rather than invoke the fury of his father, keeping his opinion shut inside of his head. His dad stood and ran a hand through the thin fur covering his head. "Jesus Christ, come back in and join the family when you realize what a fucking disgrace these two queers are." His father muttered, shaking his fists and walking back towards the restaurant door. The door closed behind his father and Meow watched the window his family had watched from until every face had disappeared back into the restaurant. No one had come to help. He was the only one that had tried to stop it, and now look at him. He turned to the homosexual men and watched them.

"Hey.." he called towards them. They both lifted their heads and looked at him. The one that had tried to pull Meow's dad off of his significant other was a dark desert tan, with pitch black markings covering much of his body. On his head he was wearing a hat that would be the inspiration behind Meow taking to space rather than working for his father making screws for his entire life, the most life changing decision he ever made. A dark red hat with sleeves to cover four of a Betelgeusian eight ears. A bright yellow smiley face sat dead in the middle of the hat, a happy vibe seemed to be constantly radiating from it, making Meow smile despite the fact pain lanced through his small body like a red hot poker. "...you guys okay?" Meow asked, concerned about the well being of these gentlemen. The one in the bright red hat looked at the young Meow in amazement. "You stood up for us…"

Now it was Meow's turn to look shocked. "Yeah.. I mean, you're living beings right? There's absolutely no reason any living creature needs to be beaten half to death just for doing what makes them happy."

Tears came to the man's eye and he smiled. "Thank you, kid. If there's anything I can do to repay you, just ask."

Meow didn't even need to think before he spoke up. "Can I have your hat? It makes me feel happy."

The man laughed and took off his hat before tossing it to Meow. "Of course, it's all yours!" Meow's tiny paws caught the hat and he was immediately transported into the dark and intimidating interior of his dad's office that sat inside of the metalworking shop. His dad sat behind his desk, and yet it wasn't his dad. It was his dad's head, twenty feet tall with deadly, dripping fangs peering from his sneering mouth.

"Is that the hat that QUEER had when I BEAT his FUCKING FACE IN?" the monstrosity his father was hissed.

Meow shook his head. "He's not a queer. He's just a living being, there's nothing wrong with him doing what makes him happy." Meow stated defiantly, staring hatefully into his fathers gleaming yellow eyes. The head chuckled, echoing around the dark office. "So you're siding with the FAGS?" he hissed, his demonic smile beaming.

Meow stood, as he did growing from his young child self into the individual he had become. "Yes. I'm not letting your oppressive hate keep me from what I want anymore."

The large head laughed. "Good luck then, 'son'. You're going to need it, because I guarantee you that when you've destroyed your relationship with Dandy by telling him how you really feel, you are going to need all the luck you can get. I don't suppose a man that's such a straight arrow is going to want a disgusting queer as a crewmate." The hideous head began to cackle as the office melted into darkness. 


	5. Making a New Friend, Baby

Meow's eyes peeled open slowly. He groaned in pain, agony running through his body. He willed himself to move, but couldn't. A heavy weight seemed to be draped over him, preventing any sort of movement. He drew in a breath, grimacing as his lungs burned from the effort of taking in the oxygen. His eyes moved across the surface of his glass helmet, wandering across the spider web pattern of cracks that crawled across it. He drew in another breath, beginning to panic as he realized the situation he was currently in. He finally worked his arm up and tried to push himself up. His eyes were clenched shut in concentration, but he opened them upon feeling some foreign object shift on his arm. Upon first sight, it seemed to be no big deal. It was just some foliage that had gotten caught on his arm. He attempted in vain to shake it off, becoming annoyed as the clump of purple flowers refused to fall from his arm.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you friend…" A shrill voice squeaked. Meow looked up, searching for the voice, but unable to find it's source. "Moving around too much is going to stimulate blood flow, and that's something we want to avoid right now." Meow yelled in surprise on the other side of the odd lab he had landed in sat a ten foot tall mushroom, it's gigantic cap spreading for nearly twenty feet! Pulsing purple veins ran up the side of the pale white stem, feeding into the huge cap that shone a brilliant purple. In his repulsion, Meow clambered up in an attempt to get away from the disgusting decomposer. As he stood, complete and utter nausea overtook him, sending him crashing back to the ground. He looked back up and peered over his sizeable tummy at where he had been laying. Dark purple Betelgeusian blood had soaked the floor, pooling out over the cool, white tiles. Meow began losing his composure. He looked back at the purple flowers clinging to his arms. Tendrils swathed between the flowers, pulsing a brilliant purple as the roots of the parasitic flower that had sunk into his deep lacerations pumped blood from his body, feeding the glowing flower. Meow screamed in horror and attempted to rip away the flower, clawing at it in desperation. The flower pulled free from his skin, ripping it's roots from his arms with a sickening sucking sound as his purple blood squirted and gushed from the open wounds.

"STOP! STOP IT NOW, FRIEND, IF YOU KEEP MAKING WOUNDS LIKE THAT, MORE FLOWERS ARE GOING TO GROW ON YOU. THAT'S ALL THESE SPORES NEED TO PLANT THEMSELVES IN A HOST, EXPOSED FLESH!" The unseen voice squealed, stopping Meow's frantic tearing in its tracks.

"Listen, you just have to stay calm, alright? You have friends here with you, yes? They will find you and save you, I'm sure, just please don't panic!" The voice continued. "Just lay still. Please!"

Tears streamed from Meow's eyes as he looked from his flower-covered body to the layout of the room. Skeletons bleached from age lay strewn about the room, red flowers clinging to the white bones, the green roots and tendrils carpeting the floor. Meow did as the voice told and attempted to control his pulse and breathing. He took several deep breaths and lay back down, using his body to shield his fresh wound from the drifting green spores. "Where are you? How are you alive?" Meow asked whoever the owner of the voice happened to be. "I'm over here!" The gigantic mushroom pulsed and glowed with each syllable, synchronizing with the voice.

Meow gasped again, his pulse and breathing elevating in shock. "Y..you're a gigantic mushroom…" Meow stammered, staring at the intimidating figure towering over him.

The shrill voice laughed and the mushroom pulsed a neon purple. "Not exactly, I'm more traveling cluster of thoughts that accidently got trapped inside of a mushroom. But, if you'd rather discern me by my physical appearance, I am a mushroom." the creature laughed, explaining it's existence like being a traveling cluster of thoughts trapped inside of a mushroom was a common happening. "So tell me about yourself, friend, why are you here?" the mushroom questioned Meow.

Meow laughed humorlessly. "If it's all the same, I'm kind of trying to save my energy for things like breathing and stuff. I'd prefer if I didn't right now."

The mushroom was quiet for a moment before inputting another suggestion. "I could tell you about myself! I suppose you have more questions than the two you've asked!"

Meow shook his head. "I don't know about that…" he said in an unsure tone.

"C'mon!" the decomposer begged. "Talking is beneficial to both of us! It keeps you from passing out, because if you do, I don't know if you'll ever wake up again. Also, I haven't talked to anyone in forever! So please!"

Meow sighed. "Fine." he relented. "Tell me about you, bud."

A high-pitched squeal filled the air as the mushrooms voice cheered with glee. "Well, I suppose I should start from the beginning! No passing out now, I'd be a shame for you to die!"

"For starters, I don't remember anything before being a cluster of sentient thought. My memory just sort of fades into an empty nothingness. The first thing I can remember that I know for a fact happened was some sort of war broke out on this planet, and I floated about, constantly thinking of ways the quarrelsome humans could have settled their disagreements without violence. Then, roughly 200 years ago now, I suppose, I was drifting over a small town. I watched as suburban drama unfolded in front of my eyes. For such a small town, incredible amounts of hatred, pity, and sadness radiated from it. I was appalled. I did my duty and continued to absorb knowledge from how these people approached certain situations. It wasn't until one quiet fall morning that I found what would inevitably be my final solution to this world's problems. A man named Mr. Ramsfield executed his family in a calm and emotionless manner. Mr. Ramsfield completely detached himself from the individuals he called his family and blew a hole in their head with an old black powder revolver while they slept. Police questioning prompted Mr. Ramsfield to admit he was tired. Tired of all of the fighting, bickering, and stress. He had quit school to raise a family the wife had insisted they start, and it had all been downhill from there. Mr. Ramsfield was then shipped off to an institution where he was lobotomized before being locked in a cell the rest of his mortal days. Now, young, impressionable cluster of thought I was figured Mr. Ramsfield had a point. What better way to unite all living beings but death? I hardly contemplated this at all, it seemed to be such a great option! The problem was finding out how to kill them. I puzzled over this for years. Sure, there was so much that could kill humans, but how to do it without being caught and most certainly destroyed? After much observation, I began to realized something: humans cannot live without oxygen. So I figured, what if their precious air was harmful? It was the perfect plan! Now the only thing in my way was how to poison their air. I already knew the answer. I had watched as vegetation spread its seeds through the air, allowing the planets natural wind currents to take it's offspring wherever the natural powers willed it. If I could somehow poison these seeds, the air would suddenly become lethal. I needed a plant that had such capabilities! I watched oaks, spruces, pines, every tree, flower, and moss I could! None of them would be able to accomplish what I had in mind! Then one day, I came across a fern. I watched as from underneath burst thousands of tiny particles, and reeled in astonishment as the spores drifted for miles and miles. I watched the ferns for months, before concluding this could not be a suitable candidate, as the spores themselves would be too difficult to change the genetic structure of. I continued studying spores, and that's when I found mushrooms. They were perfect! Within a mere few days, I had taken residence in one and altered the structure of the spores. I used my studies to inspire me. Now, wherever a spore landed, the area would become extremely fertile, this would allow more of my new mushrooms to grow. When landing upon organic material, the spores would sink into the flesh and within the hour spread unseen roots through the organism's body. The first sign of infection they had was when the flower sprouts began poking through the skin. The flowers would almost always be red, as the color is dictated by your blood. Soon, the flowers would grow to enormous sizes as their blood was siphoned into the flower!" He went on and on with his story. Meow lay quietly as the monster told of the small towns destruction, how government officials had come in and discovered the source of the death, and then brought him into this lab for experiments. How they had for years tried to harvest spores and use them as weapons against their enemies. Soon, spores could worm their way into any nook or cranny in nearly any hazmat suit. All the humans were dying yadda yadda, the planet was coming towards a new age blah blah, Meow could hardly hear what was being said anymore. He looked at the ground beneath him, and watched as purple blood spread slowly across the plant covered floor. He let out a frustrated moan and lay back defeated. This was it. He was going to die listening to a goddamn plant monologue about how he had killed an entire planet. This close to death, only one thought pulsed through his brain. He wished he had told Dandy how he felt. He hadn't even known he had felt so strongly towards him until recently, but now that this appeared to be the end, saying anything, even if the feeling was not mutual, would have been better than to die with the emotion locked inside of him. Meow's conscious began fading, and he looked up towards the ceiling. The tiles began to blend together and shine with an annoyingly bright light. All he could hear was the muffed clunking of some heavy metal making it's way towards him. Suddenly, the light vanished behind a large metallic body. It appeared to be some sort of armor, bulky black metal covering what was more than likely a human body. Red paint decorated the black armor, the most notable painting being the large sun on his chest. The black mask looked down at Meow, and the eyes of the heavy black mask glowed red. Meow smiled up at the figure. He was here to save him! He wasn't going to die after all! The mask then looked towards the large mushroom… and stepped over Meow's broken body. Two other figures followed behind the first, each in exactly the same armor, minus the sun painting on their chest. Both had large tanks on their back and vicious looking nozzles connected to the tanks by thick black hoses.

"I believe you would be the dick responsible for all this?" the man with the sun painting asked the mushroom.

"Responsible? Yes. But I am sorry about it! I've been trying my best to make amends for it, I'm even helping that dying creature the best I can!" The mushroom responded happily.

The man with the sun painting looked from the mushroom to Meow before looking back at the Mushroom. "How sweet of you. It's so nice of you to take time from your busy schedule to gab at this poor creature while it dies." he said angrily.

"But I was trying my best! I don't have any way to do anything else, I'm stuck in this mushroom for christs sake!" The mushroom cried, it's purple glow fading to a scared blue.

The man with the sun painting nodded. "I'll allow you to take that belief to hell with you. Boys, burn the bitch."

The two men with flamethrowers (as it became clear they were in an instant) stepped forward and let loose with their tools of death. Angry red flames shot from the nozzles, instantly setting the large mushroom ablaze. The mushroom screamed in horrifying agony, the volume tearing at the listeners sanity. The man with the sun painting stepped towards Meow and crouched down over him. As the mushroom burned in the intense inferno behind him, he took Meow's body in his arms and lifted him to his chest, showing no sign of any effort.

"You're going to be okay, kid." the man comforted. "You're going to be okay."

Meow looked into the glowing red eyes of the mask and smiled again. He was saved. He nuzzled his head into the hard metal chestplate of the armor, crying in relief. Finally at peace, he let his consciousness slip away. 


End file.
